Deconstructing weirdness
Every day, the first part of the Duluth News-Tribune I read is the Letters to the Editor section, and every day, I hope for good ones. What constitutes a "good" letter in my definition? Well, it certainly isn't a letter that's well-written and/or insightful, that's for sure.
The best letters are those that show a line of thinking that's completely foreign to me. Political whack-jobs of either wing are always good entertainment. But sometimes you get a great letter with no political bias at all, like the one that ran last Friday, "Pigeons are God's creatures, too."
In the letter, the writer takes the stance that pigeons are "love-filled birds" and denounces a recent DNT article about pigeons making a nuisance for a local day-care center. "The innocent, peaceful doves, with love coming from the same sources as our own, probably were attracted by the love and peacefulness of the home-based business," the writer states.
The writer goes on to recommend encouraging and aiding the pigeon population by contructing low-cost housing for the pigeons, rescuing their eggs, and gathering donations to purchase pigeon food.
Because apparantly, pigeons don't thrive in the city.
Keeping to the format, the writer goes Biblical at the end, citing God's love for pigeons and how Israelis used to sacrifice them in religious ceremonies. And while people generally don't sacrifice animals to God anymore, that doesn't necessarily mean He has stopped loving them: "Pigeons and doves are probably still held in high esteem by the guy who made them," the writer guesses.
Whenever I read a letter like this, I like to imagine what the person's life is like. If people calling pigeons a nuisance gets you upset enough to write a letter to the editor, what must your emotional state be like when confronting the rest of the news?
For the record, I kind of like pigeons. But ... damn.
Posted by
Barrett on February 13, 2006 01:29 PM | Permalink
Comments
That person has obviously never been shit on by one of His creations.
Posted by: Bad Cat! | February 13, 2006 04:45 PM
I read someplace that pigeon on pigeon crime has increased something like 20% in the last three years...
Posted by: in.dog.neato | February 13, 2006 07:22 PM
I kinda like pigeons too. They make for a nice replacement for quail in most dishes, and if you get them from a metropolitan area they generally eat the kinds of things that make pigeons taste rather good.
On a completely seperate note, I saw "Brokeback Mountian" with a couple of friends tonight. I was not disappointed.
BBM has to be one of the four funniest films I have seen this year. The main reason why I found the film so funny is that the American public actually had to be told that homosexuals are human beings. That they're not just huge charicatures of men in poorly made up drag.
The film's most touching moment didn't occur during the man on man hump and cuddle sessions. It actually came between Jack's (Jake G.) mother and Enis (Heath L.). I don't want to spoil the film so look out for it. That moment almost made it bearable to sit through what amounted to me as a really long Marlboro Ad for gay men.
Posted by: Jonathan | February 14, 2006 03:45 AM
Dude, this is a really weird place for a movie review.
Posted by: Barrett | February 14, 2006 12:27 PM
Yes, Barrett. But sometimes life needs to blossom randomly.
Posted by: vicarious | February 14, 2006 05:07 PM
Thank you Vicarious. And you're right Barrett, very weird place for a movie review. It is also a very weird place to mention that I can't stop watching this:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5335483908999364192&q=SuperMAN+Team
Posted by: Jonathan | February 15, 2006 03:38 AM
I was also too lazy to post it to my own blog.
Posted by: Jonathan | February 15, 2006 03:40 AM
they should build wethouse for the pigeons too!
Posted by: c-freak | February 15, 2006 11:31 AM
sometimes life needs to blossom randomly
Talk like that makes me uncomfortable.
Posted by: Barrett | February 15, 2006 12:09 PM
Barret, let's all sit down and talk about why you feel uncomfortable. Here, have a Hershey's kiss. When it's you're turn to share I'll pass you this cute soft and cuddly teddy bear. Now...let's begin.
Posted by: vicarious | February 15, 2006 02:43 PM
Why don't you start, vicarious.
Posted by: Jonathan | February 16, 2006 01:05 AM
Your misspelling of my name hurts me, too. Also that word "all" makes me feel weird. You don't mean me, you, and God, do you? Or are you just calling me fat? You're saying I'm fat, aren't you?
Posted by: Barrett | February 16, 2006 01:42 AM
Jonathan, I sense some agression, or perhaps a little resentment. Close your eyes while I gently rub your scalp with this lavender oil.
Barrett, I am so very sorry about mis-spelling your unique, beautiful and very manly name. Tell me: did other kids make fun of your name in school? How did it feel, really feel, to be called Doghnut Head Jelly Belly? Did it hurt?
Posted by: vicarious | February 16, 2006 01:17 PM
Your misspelling of the word "doughnut" doesn't make it any better.
Posted by: Barrett | February 16, 2006 01:35 PM
Damn. This reminds me of the 3rd grade district spelling bee I lost in...3rd grade. I "identify" that "experience" as a "source" of many of my problems...I mean, my "challenges".
I've decided to go with "dognut".
Posted by: vicarious | February 16, 2006 03:25 PM
A-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E
Be agressive. Be, be agressive.
Thank you Denfeld High School cheerleading squad cira 1989.
I get the whole agressive thing a lot. Perhaps you're right vicar. But what came off as agressive?
Posted by: Jonathan | February 16, 2006 04:21 PM