This "fact" made me spit my soda: "...most sodomites report that their first sexual experience was a homosexual one... 96% of heterosexual males said their first sexual experience was with a female."
what's with all the gratuitous use of quotation marks?
my favorites:
"This first encounter seems to be of considerable importance." [yeah, for most people, the first gender they have sex with is the gender they'd rather have sex with. huh.]
"I was hit with a purse!"
"What shall we call ourselves? Right-wingers?"
"The New York mayor's race of 1969 was the first in which sodomites took an active part."[i think the term "sodomite" needs a fresh look. it's kind of middle eastern sexy, like israelite or hittite. nice biblical ring to it. i like it.]
"Everyone takes baths. Some even more than weekly."
"Do you see the thrust of the sodomite lifestyle?"
i like that there's a sickle and a baseball bat involved in the bathhouse orgy. and scissors!
i like how the gay people are depicted as all happy and having a whole lot of sex, and the republicans are all angry and envious. like when Pat Buchanan there is fantasizing about Schneider from One Day at a Time in the bathtub.
i also like how the first of the most harmful and damaging acts is... kissing! UGH!
You just know that the author's true name isn't Dick Hafer, and that he does have an increadible fear of the cock. While trying to come up with a pen name, "Dick Hater" was too obvious, so he just made that T go a little limp.
"It's a life totally absorbed by the search for sex..."
Heh...yeah. So? :-)
I think what troubles me most about this is that the publication itself isn't that terribly old. Ouch. And I'm sure some people still feel this way. Double Ouch.
c-freak on September 17, 2008 04:21 PM
Comments
Huh huh. His name is Dick.
Posted by: Danny | September 17, 2008 04:38 PM
This "fact" made me spit my soda: "...most sodomites report that their first sexual experience was a homosexual one... 96% of heterosexual males said their first sexual experience was with a female."
Uh, duh?
http://www.ep.tc/problems/28/05.html
Posted by: Bad Cat! | September 17, 2008 05:36 PM
what's with all the gratuitous use of quotation marks?
my favorites:
"This first encounter seems to be of considerable importance." [yeah, for most people, the first gender they have sex with is the gender they'd rather have sex with. huh.]
"I was hit with a purse!"
"What shall we call ourselves? Right-wingers?"
"The New York mayor's race of 1969 was the first in which sodomites took an active part."[i think the term "sodomite" needs a fresh look. it's kind of middle eastern sexy, like israelite or hittite. nice biblical ring to it. i like it.]
"Everyone takes baths. Some even more than weekly."
"Do you see the thrust of the sodomite lifestyle?"
i like that there's a sickle and a baseball bat involved in the bathhouse orgy. and scissors!
i like how the gay people are depicted as all happy and having a whole lot of sex, and the republicans are all angry and envious. like when Pat Buchanan there is fantasizing about Schneider from One Day at a Time in the bathtub.
i also like how the first of the most harmful and damaging acts is... kissing! UGH!
Posted by: hbh | September 17, 2008 06:00 PM
That's hilarious. HILARIOUS. It'd be funnier if my dad hasn't told me almost everything in this book and tried to make me think it was fact.
*sad face*
Posted by: Nate | September 17, 2008 06:17 PM
"Shaking hands with Morrissey, it's deathtime!"
Posted by: Mark | September 17, 2008 06:19 PM
c-freak, you are just a depraved, sadomasochistic sodomite totally absorbed by illicit sex. lol
Posted by: Queenie | September 17, 2008 06:33 PM
my fav was the het path. birth directly to courtship.
you would know queenie!
Posted by: c-freak | September 17, 2008 07:48 PM
You're a dick hafer.
Posted by: adam | September 17, 2008 09:11 PM
You just know that the author's true name isn't Dick Hafer, and that he does have an increadible fear of the cock. While trying to come up with a pen name, "Dick Hater" was too obvious, so he just made that T go a little limp.
Posted by: Sjixxxy | September 18, 2008 08:15 AM
"It's a life totally absorbed by the search for sex..."
Heh...yeah. So? :-)
I think what troubles me most about this is that the publication itself isn't that terribly old. Ouch. And I'm sure some people still feel this way. Double Ouch.
Posted by: Shelly | September 18, 2008 08:38 AM
I had to save all of that. Wow!! Wow!!
Posted by: trailerdiva | September 18, 2008 12:30 PM
Prurient interest, mayhap?
Posted by: adam | September 19, 2008 05:49 AM