i'm speechless. i wouldn't have even considered the sincerity of it until i watched Jesus Camp.

So wait--Jesus spitefully made her allergic to bee stings? Or did his spank power somehow make her break out in hives?

I'm no doctor, but I've watched too much House to take this at face value.

Hells bells why not go for the full lightning smiting sctick, I'm mean this is (not so) borderline pervy, especially in light of all the troubles the Catholic Church has had in the past decade or so.

W.W.J.S.?

Who Would Jesus Spank?

C'mon everybody, jesus has only had about 10,000 years to come up with this stuff. If you had all the distraction of the creationism thing you would be a little weak on doling out punishments as well. Sheesh, give the man a break!!

The Lord can be such asshole sometimes. He could use some counseling.

If Jesus really meant it, it would have been a bare-butt spanking...

nbayuk, according to modern evangelical christianity, the earth is 5k years old at best.

NOW, they're (pat robertson and his cronies) trying to completely remake the "jesus was a hippie" image by depict him as a burly and buff savior with muscles and heaps and gobs of testosterone...

talk about revisionist history...

Jesus isn't into child porn. And is it just me, or is that girl a little too old to be spanked? And what is she reaching for? And honestly, the best reason for Jesus spanking her is that she hit a beehive with a stick?!?

Fuck you!

Somehow I kind of want to make Jesus mad now, just to get a good thrashing.

Now this makes it clear why mom always went so spank happy on my bothers and I....WWJD
Spank the kids for lying
Spank the kids for not doing thier chores
Spank the kids for letting the pigs out....

All I have to say is Jesus has fabulous hair.

Now in all seriousness, what a freakin’ stupid kid to hit a active bee hive with a stick! Didn’t they ever see “My Gril”?

I am not a professional palm reader, but someone better let Jesus know his lifeline is very short.

skud, check your self, thats a bad word and jesus might give you the OTK you deserve....BTW this isnt that other blog so keep the flames in your closet where they belong.

So is doing something unbelievably stupid and suffering the consequences a "Jesus Spank(ing)?"

01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101111 00100001

Jesus heals the sick; he doesn't spank them.

01001010 01100101 01110011 01110101 01110011 00101100 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01100110 01101111 01101100 01101100 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 01110011 00101110

Isn't that Barry Gibb?

49 27 6D 20 63 6F 6E 74 69 6E 75 61 6C 6C 79 20 73 74 72 75 63 6B 20 77 69 74 68 20 74 68 65 20 68 79 70 6F 63 72 69 74 69 63 61 6C 20 6E 61 74 75 72 65 20 6F 66 20 6D 6F 64 65 72 6E 20 66 75 6E 64 61 6D 65 6E 74 61 6C 69 73 74 20 63 68 72 69 73 74 69 61 6E 73 2C 20 74 68 65 20 72 65 70 72 65 73 73 69 6F 6E 20 74 68 65 79 20 65 78 70 6F 75 73 65 20 6F 6E 6C 79 20 6D 61 6B 65 73 20 74 68 65 6D 20 73 6C 61 76 65 73 20 74 6F 20 74 68 65 20 22 73 69 6E 73 22 20 74 68 65 79 20 68 61 74 65

Where's this from?

Careless. Best was 30. ... h5 31. g5 Nf5+. Black is going steadily downhill. This is a deceptively easy position. For example, the natural 30. ... Nb5 31. Bb3 Nc3 32. f5 Kd7 33. f6 c5 leads to a worse position.
31. Rc4
Less effective is 31. Bc2.
31. ... c5
32. Ke4
Best - easily better than 32. h4 Ne6 33. Bf3 Rd4 34. Rxd4 cxd4+ 35. Kd3 Nxf4+ 36. Kxd4.
32. ... Rd8
33. Rxc5
33. ... Ne6
Black is playing well under the circumstances.
34. Rd5
Other moves are inferior: 34. Rc1 Rd4+ 35. Ke3 Rxf4 36. Bf3 Kd7 37. Rd1+ Ke7 38. h4.
34. ... Rc8
An inaccuracy. Best was 34. ... Rxd5 35. Kxd5 Nxf4+ 36. Kc4 Ke6 37. Kxb4 Kxe5 38. Bf3 h5 39. Kxa3 hxg4 40. Bxg4 though even then black should lose.
35. f5
Less effective is 35. Rb5 Rc4+ 36. Ke3 Nxf4 37. Bb3 Ng2+ 38. Kd3 Rxg4 39. Rb7+ Kd8 40. Rxh7.
35. ... Rc4+
36. Ke3
White is playing well. The best move, just - white still should win.
36. ... Nc5
Black's position is getting worse. It's a trappy position. For example, the natural 36. ... Ng5 37. e6 h6 38. h4 Rc3+ 39. Kd4 Nh3 40. Ke5 leads to a worse position.
37. g5
Careless. Best was 37. Kd2 h6 38. Be2.
37. ... Rc1
A bad move which deserves a ? Best was 37. ... b3 38. Bxb3 Nxb3 39. axb3 Rb4 40. f6+ Ke6 41. Rd6+ Kxe5 42. Rd3 though even then black should lose.
38. Rd6
A slight inaccuracy. Best was 38. f6+ Ke6 39. Rd6++.
checkmate. 1-0

we are *so* over posting entire chess games, -Berv! :)
(and entire Shakespeare plays, for those of you so inclined!)

That was just my answer to the binary code and whatever Baci commented. Maybe we should all speak French! Nevermind, I just figured the binary stuff out:
http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp

49 74 27 73 20 6e 69 63 65 20 68 6f 77 20 74 68 65 79 20 61 63 74 69 76 65 6c 79 20 77 6f 72 6b 20 74 6f 20 72 6f 70 65 20 74 68 65 20 72 65 73 74 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 20 77 6f 72 6c 64 20 69 6e 74 6f 20 74 68 65 69 72 20 77 61 63 6b 79 20 67 61 6d 65 28 73 29 2c 20 74 68 6f 75 67 68 2c 20 69 73 6e 27 74 20 69 74 3f

More funner here.

Finally, a truly scientific explanation of why diseases happen!

ATCGCGGCAAATTAGGGATTTACCACACAATGCCTATAATATATATAAAAAAGGGCCCGCCGGGCCAACCCGGGTTATACGCGCGCCCGGCGCTTTTAAACCTGACTGACTGACTGACAACGCTTCTGGCTTTAACATTGCTCCTGGACGGCCTTACGAGTTCATATA

In the Old Testament Job's friends told him his boils and other misfortunes were God's punishment for doing something bad. Then God showed up as a whirlwind and told them off for trying to guess His intentions. A lot of Christians tend to forget that part...along with "thou shall not kill" and just about everything else in the Bible.

Wait...it says thou shalt NOT kill?

Christ also said that it would be easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven...and that we are to not lay up our riches here on earth "Where moth and rust decay."

Yet...flipping past the God Channel, one can almost always catch some evangelical pontiff carrying on about how christians need to claim the riches and wealth that "God has promised them."

Wait a minute...God said that it's my destiny to be rich?