SUPERIOR, WI – Cool temperatures, plenty of rainfall, a low sun angle, and lack of killing frost have conspired against Superior Mayor David Ross in a perfect storm of ideal grass growing conditions. Despite Mayor Ross’s attempts to kill his lawn by cutting it too short and allowing it to bake in the sun, Mother Nature seems to have thwarted his plans – at least for the time being. “I hate foliage as much as I hate taverns and payday loan businesses,” hissed the Right Honorable One, “I hope we get torrents of rain and a hard freeze the next day so all that green stuff dies.” Alfie, a neighborhood whitetail doe, looked up from her browsing of the Mayor’s lawn and noted that the grass tasted “succulent.” She then flicked her tail and made a strange cawing sound signaling some faux danger.