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For your amusement...It's the Pain Ray!

Allegedly being tested in Iraq.

Comments

Interesting. Another war tool for the arsenal. Coming soon to the streets of the US.


According to wonkette, the navy is researching a puke ray.


Then there's the "Poop Ray". It emits a very low vibratory noise that makes you poo in your pants. It's true!


The "Poop Ray" a.ka. "Brown or Brownian Sound" (no joke) is an urban myth. It's right up there with cloud busters (which I personally think are super cool). The term Brown Sound was originally coined by, of all unlikely's, Van Halen. Later in the 1990s, bands like Ministry and Skinny Puppy used to speak of something called the "Arse Wave Generator" (also no joke). The generator does not exist, nor has "Brown Sound" ever been achieved, no matter what anyone tells you. One of my brothers was a career soldier for the Air Force as a top secret Stealth tech in Almagordo, New Mexico; he's since retired and now works (I'm slightly ashamed to say) for the Defense Department off the coast of Florida for ungodly gobs of cash. He's told me a lot of true, strange stories over the years about some of the "unknown" weapons our military possesses (and it's downright scary), but when I asked him about Brown Sound last April, he laughed so hard he nearly crapped his pants. If anything, that's the closest I've come to a "Poop Ray". It's a myth. Sorry. However, when I asked him about things like StarTrek phaser-like guns and disintegrating microwave beam machines, he simply said, "Yes." And he wasn't kidding. Fucking scary if you ask me and there's even scarier shit my brother can't tell me for fear of being thrown in the stockade, even though he's a civilian now. He can have his gobs of cash, I say. I'm glad I don't live in that kind of perpetual fear/hell. Anyway, Poop Rays are the least of our concern, but dangnabbit, it sure would be kind of fun to have a poop ray gun sometimes. Andrew Olson, are you reading this?


ADS also works good on those hippie protestors, for sure.

And if you're going to mention the Brownian Sound, Christian, you think you'd include the Death Beat and other weapons of sound like Long Range Acoustic Devices!


My apologies, Mr Adam -- it was very late when I wrote my last post. On a related note, check out this link: http://www.srl.org These guys do some pretty crazy stuff. I used to have a video of some of their shows.
BTW.... I'm "Gwanto" dangnabbit. Darn it all, now my secret cover is blown. Anyway, I'm planning to build a cloudbuster sometime in the near future. My neighbors should love that. Ah, screw 'em. I live in Superior now. Everyone is drunk over here anyway.


Secret cover? How the hell long did you expect to keep that up using words like "dangnabbit?"


Yer darn tootin'!


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