Man, I really can't compete with the Telly Savalas post.... but in the interests of public safety:

Tom: [when Kate leaves] I have done it, she is gone! Now I can raise you movies the way I want to! Mwa ha ha, ha ha, ha!
[kids stare blankly]
Tom: C'mon, Dad's in charge now, you can... eat candy for breakfast, sleep in, wear shoes in the house, it'll be great!
[kids continue to stare blankly. Tom finally gives up]
Tom: Yeah, I know, let's go outside and watch "Cheaper By The Dozen" tonight at Leif Erickson starting at 8:27pm. Don't forget to bring the blankets and bugspray!

Next week: "Sleepless in Seattle"

But let's say you don't want to watch outdoor movies... perhaps you would rather do this:

Lake Superior Whale Watching