public service announcements.

i have a few things i need to share.

1. i've decided to stop drinking for a while. i think i've spent $100 on alcohol in the last few days. seems silly to spend money on something you're just going to puke up later. instead, i will spend my money on laser vaudville shows and cocaine. they are super cool.

2. my mom has tv trays for sale. there are four of them, they come with a stand, they are made of real wood, and they can't help but rawk. she was going to ask $10 for them, but a dog chewed on a corner of one so she has reduced her price to $5. she'd probably throw in a pair of stirrup pants to boot. any takers?

3. i think the plastic squirrel and the castiron rabbit need to have a fight. maybe not a physical fight, as the squirrel is bleached and brittle, but perhaps a spinoff at starfire lounge. my bet is on the squirrel. he will make you rock out with the cock out.

4. if you missed hot toddy's elvis birthday show, you should be ashamed of yourself. it was a stupendous evening at the elk's lodge in superior. there were old ladies and small children and drunks and giant pompadours and dirty dancing. it don't get no better'n that.

you may now resume your regularly scheduled activities.