Now for a real adventure!

Sure, Europe's nice. But it's no Panama City, FL. Let's compare:

- Europe has the Louvre. Panama City has miles and miles of "custom" airbrush t-shirts.

- Europe has Florence, Milan, and Rome. Panama City has Alvin's Big Island... tropical department store. It's in a volcano.

- Europe is the seat of the Reformation. Panama City has as many churches as strip clubs. That's a lot.

- Europe is the foundation of Western thought and philosophy. Panama City has a bitchin' FSU auxillary campus on the beach.

- Europe saw the origins of Olympic tradition. Amp Lee nearly scored a hundred points against my high school.

- Europe has F1 racing. Panama City has wicked go-cart tracks.

- Europe has the Vatican. Panama City has drunks who love Jesus and can't seem to see the irony in it.